紧紧相依的心如何 Say goodbye
I'm going to analyse this simple statement from Gary's song, 背叛.
When it's translated to Eng, it means: How can 2 closely knitted & interdependent hearts say goodbye to each other?
Hmm..sounds unbelievable, but those of u who had been tru serious heartaches knew v clearly how common this situation can juz occur in any kind of r/s.. Well.. There r many possibilities why this may happen & today I’m juz going to briefly discuss some of them here.
To begin wif, let's question the idea of the 2 hearts being closely knitted & interdependent. As much as we wld love to believe tat this is the case for all serious r/s tat we went tru, the ques on to what extend this statement holds true is still largely debatable. When we 1st meet someone new, we do not have access to much info until we started talking to them. Therefore, one of the earliest cues that we used to assess the individuals in front of us wld be frm their physical appearance, nonverbal communication & overt behaviour. In layman's terms, it simply means that one can be attracted to another due to d good impression formed. Then the r/s is brought to another lvl as these 2 beings started to communicate more. Things like common interests/beliefs, benefits etc will be explored and judged based on one's background and value systems. And this is the stage where many pple will be confused wif the limited info gained. Many wld assume tat the other party suits them coz of certain common topics and perhaps they were further impressed by the person's style, personality etc. And a common mistake made at this stage is the tendency to ask for a status or committment. This is a complicating issue as many pple r in fact asking for more than what they can handle or getting into a situation which they have no idea what it's like. To prevent my blog frm becoming more like a doctoral thesis, I shall summarise this para now. What appeared to be strong in a r/s cld be juz an illusion formed based on one's self-fulfilling prophecies, therefore if d idea that 2 hearts r closely knitted & interdependent in a r/s may nt even be true in d 1st plc, den saying goodbye after one or both parties realise this pt sldn't be a diff task afterall, isn't it?
Next, let's assume that tis statement tat d 2 hearts r closely knitted & interdependent is true. What r some reasons then that allow this strong connection to be broken w/o much warning? Well, my point of view is that things dun happened w/o warning. There r always signs telling us tat something is nt rite, thou nt all these will be clear to us as sometimes they cld be too subtle or sometimes we r too blinded to see them. Nway, back to d point on what r some reasons which d abv may happen, I think it has a strong link to a person's personality & background. For example, a person may be someone who's too strong in character to accept criticism or feedbacks and when they felt that they were being critised, they internalise these comments & focus on d negative parts, leading to a conclusion tat d person who offered these feedbacks do not understand them. Another e.g., a person may not be equip wif d necessary skills to cope wif d demands of a r/s due to his/her background, mb not being exposed or exp in such matter, perhaps it's d fear arising frm past failed r/s, or simply tat they do not dare to love too much for fear of getting hurt. Hence, a r/s may juz break down coz of one or both parties not being able to handle their own emotions which is strongly related to their personalities & background.
In summary, 2 closely knitted & interdependent hearts can say goodbye to each other for far too many reasons. Some of them discussed in tis entry are d possibility tat d abv statement is juz an illusion formed based on one’s self-fulfilling prophecies. And even if d statement is true, there r many factors tat play a part in d breaking down of a r/s, for example, a person’s inability to handle their own emotions due to their personalities & background. Other issues which I wld lk to explore, but did not due to time/words constraint is d idea of insecurity & self-awareness. Well, I will talk more abt them when I feel like it. Nway, to all who have been following my blog, I’m officially single again. The availability part will come later. For now, expanding & getting back my social network is far more impt. And I need time to really reflect on my life if I want it to be fruitful. Plus I think I’ve enough frm pple who r nt compatible to me based on our intellectual & emotional lvl, so ya, I dun wanna get involve so soon w/o making sure of what I’m getting myself into. I really need someone who can connect wif me both intellectually and emotionally. So maturity is definitely a must when it comes to my choice of partner. Ok.. enough said. The end.
